undercover-witch: DOITSU!! xD shine bright like a Doitsu DOITSU DAY!!1!one
flirtykurty: OH MY GOD MY MOM WAS USING HER EMAIL ON MY COMPUTER AND SHE’S HOPELESS AT COMPUTERS AND SHE MINIMIZED HER EMAIL BY ACCIDENT AND SAW MY KINDLE WINDOW OPEN WITH REALLY REALLY EXPLICIT SUPERNATURAL GAY FANFICTION (DESTIEL IF YOU WERE WONDERING) I WALK IN AND SHE’S BLUSHING AND SHE GOES “I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED MAKENNA GET ME BACK” I BLAMED IT ON HER I SAID OH MY GOD MOM WHAT ARE...
gothlolita: reason s to date me i have at least ten money saved up in the bank, can buy chicken nugget i am very popular in nintendogs i have a cat and its okay if you ignore me just to play wit h the cat because i will probably do that too macaroni and cheese i
year is 2392
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP, I GOT A BIG COCK
hornyspice: People who actually buy music from iTunes.
hetaliagirl104: England wore Red America wore Blue But after the Revolution Their love is still true
homleschapel: summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
fujoshikira: gelatins: hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2 said arthur as he tried setting up a date
smilestootybooty: turntechgodisc: turntechgodisc: you ever assume that when hussie makes a design or outfit for a character hes just staring back at the fandom and saying “yeah just TRY and cosplay that fuckers”
me: why does no one like me
person: i like you'
me: why does no one like me
theweepyfox: geometricdeathtrap: So I needed a way to alert the class that I was going to be showing graphic pictures of genitals on my presentation so I decided that putting this on the slide before would work I want this on a shirt.
aidantuurner: i was presenting something in english the other day and this kid started snickering and laughing at me so i just stopped in the middle of talking and stared at him with the best evil look ever and
Like you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life
i-dont-understand-that-reference: danisalmostonfire: i-dont-understand-that-reference: i-dont-understand-that-reference: today in science class we were talking about thunderstorms and we looked out the window and there was a storm in the distance so i quietly whispered “the oncoming storm” and the kid behind me banged his knee on the desk and choked i think i have found my soulmate this...
winchesterwhowatson: so i just found a thing ? is that even-? okay that’s not ??? is that even legal
brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
masamaruskull: rb-modblog: french-miaou: you mean to tell me america are just starting to colour their money man you guys are way behind crikey straya What is that picture? Is there a new version of Monopoly out? THAT’S OUR MONEY YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCKTARD
rexuality: realistic captions for selfies: i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit this is the best...
ashencandy: actually good self esteem/life advice out of context
shadowrawrs: strawberrydaydreams: do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason you’re just like no And then they give you a reason and its like
kyrianne: If you’re ever depressed, just look at porn titles. It’ll make everything better.
Who invented the blow job? Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
yongmuney: stop drop and roll away from all your problems